Confidence...

Today, the subject of tough love was brought up on another Blog. (Thanks Gae!!) And it really got me thinking. I commented on the Blog the psychological reasons why tough love is a good thing, and thought id share that here. The subject was people playing 'poor me' yet not willing to put in the hard work to get what they are after. I commented this:

The main reasons for people to have this attitude, is that as children some of us had parents that would help us a little too much. They might not have known it, but they were really causing their children to have a certain reliance on others. That if things got too hard someone else would help them or do it for them. Also, some people with very low self confidence revert back to another very big childhood action - If you get hurt or upset, your parents would give you hugs and love and attention to make you feel better. Therefore subconciously, they relate being hurt or upset, to getting those things.
Its not the persons fault, or the parents. Its a subconcious thing, and as I said for people with low self esteem, playing 'poor me' gives them what they crave. So tough love is required to break that cycle. Because to get through life you cant be reliant on everyone else to make you feel good - you should be able to feel good within yourself!

After posting that I thought about it for a bit, and how it related to my journey. Ive always been one to give advice to others, yet rarely take it myself. If I want things in life, I have to get out there and grab the bull by the horns and take it! I cant expect a fairy godmother to hear my whinging and pop up and save me.

In the past I have sometimes blamed others for my weight gains... "While living at home mum and dad made such big meals, and had all this junkfood around the house" ... "All my friends are getting takeaway all the time, its not fair, I should be able to as well" ... and on and on.. But I think im finally on a good path now.

Ive been single for a while now. Ive spent some time alone and getting to know myself. I want this for me, not for anybody else. And im going to get it!!